"If elected, I will win"
About this Quote
Pat Paulsen compresses the absurdities of campaign rhetoric into a single deadpan boast: "If elected, I will win". The line works as a perfect tautology, a promise that promises nothing. To be elected already means to have won, so the statement is incontestably true and completely empty. By substituting victory for policy, it exposes how often candidates offer circular assurances about electability rather than substantive commitments about governing.
Paulsen built this kind of logic-twisting humor into his mock presidential campaigns, launched from The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in the late 1960s. In an era roiled by Vietnam, civil rights struggles, and assassinations, his straight-faced political satire stood out as both comic relief and pointed critique. Television had begun to elevate the horse race of politics, and Paulsen exaggerated that focus until it cracked. If all that matters is winning, the ultimate platform becomes the act of winning itself. The joke lands because it sounds like real campaign patter, just pushed one notch too far.
The line also skewers the standard stump-speech formula, "If elected, I will..". Instead of a plan or principle, Paulsen offers an outcome that has already been defined by the condition. The structure foregrounds how language can simulate decisiveness without conveying any information, a trick familiar to viewers of political ads then and now. It is a miniature lesson in rhetoric, showing how the appearance of certainty can be assembled from empty parts.
That he ran repeatedly, collected real votes, and maintained a calm, earnest tone only sharpened the satire. He behaved like a politician in order to reveal how political talk often behaves like comedy, relying on slogans, circular logic, and self-fulfilling confidence. The result is a throwaway one-liner that doubles as a durable critique of campaigns obsessed with momentum over meaning.
Paulsen built this kind of logic-twisting humor into his mock presidential campaigns, launched from The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in the late 1960s. In an era roiled by Vietnam, civil rights struggles, and assassinations, his straight-faced political satire stood out as both comic relief and pointed critique. Television had begun to elevate the horse race of politics, and Paulsen exaggerated that focus until it cracked. If all that matters is winning, the ultimate platform becomes the act of winning itself. The joke lands because it sounds like real campaign patter, just pushed one notch too far.
The line also skewers the standard stump-speech formula, "If elected, I will..". Instead of a plan or principle, Paulsen offers an outcome that has already been defined by the condition. The structure foregrounds how language can simulate decisiveness without conveying any information, a trick familiar to viewers of political ads then and now. It is a miniature lesson in rhetoric, showing how the appearance of certainty can be assembled from empty parts.
That he ran repeatedly, collected real votes, and maintained a calm, earnest tone only sharpened the satire. He behaved like a politician in order to reveal how political talk often behaves like comedy, relying on slogans, circular logic, and self-fulfilling confidence. The result is a throwaway one-liner that doubles as a durable critique of campaigns obsessed with momentum over meaning.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
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