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Humor & Life Quote by Demetri Martin

"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters"

About this Quote

The joke detonates at the intersection of two moral taboos: public execution and disability. Demetri Martin’s trademark is to walk you right up to a grim image with a deadpan smile, then pivot into a logic puzzle. “Calling out letters” drags in the trope of the game show spectator shouting answers (or the friend yelling letters in Hangman), except here the “hangman” is suddenly literal. That collision is the engine: you’re forced to watch your brain try to resolve incompatible meanings in real time.

The specific intent isn’t to mock amputees so much as to expose how reflexive our pattern-matching is. Even in a scenario that should demand horror, the mind reaches for the nearest familiar script: a word game. It’s a bleak little comment on cognition as coping mechanism. When reality gets unbearable, we translate it into something playable, solvable, smaller than it is. Comedy, in Martin’s hands, becomes a demonstration of that shrinking process.

Subtextually, it’s also about the audience’s complicity. The line makes you briefly visualize an amputee being hanged (a grotesque, unfair image), then invites you to laugh at the absurd response. The laugh catches in your throat because you recognize the dodge: the urge to manage discomfort with cleverness. Context matters: Martin’s persona is bookish, low-key, almost clinical. He’s not ranting; he’s diagramming. That restraint is why the joke lands as existential wordplay rather than cruelty: the punchline isn’t the amputee, it’s the speaker’s own ridiculous mental autopilot.

Quote Details

TopicWitty One-Liners
Source
Verified source: Demetri Martin. Person. (Demetri Martin, 2007)
Text match: 95.00%   Provider: Cross-Reference
Evidence:
If I ever saw an amputee being hanged, I would just yell out letters.. The wording most often circulated online (“getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters”) appears to be a paraphrase. Multiple independent transcript/quote references attribute the line to Demetri Martin’s Comedy Central TV special 'Demetri Martin. Person.' (first aired January 14, 2007). IMDb’s quote entry and ClipCafe’s timecoded transcript both match the 'being hanged / yell out letters' wording, suggesting the original spoken version is from that 2007 special, rather than a later book/interview publication. I did not locate an earlier primary source (e.g., a pre-2007 recorded set, book manuscript, or interview) that can be reliably dated earlier than the TV special via accessible primary documentation.
Other candidates (1)
The Mammoth Book of Jokes 2 (Geoff Tibballs, 2012) compilation93.3%
... She didn't wake up again . Mind you , she caused havoc in that dental practice . " If ever I saw an amputee getti...
Cite

Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Martin, Demetri. (2026, February 9). If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-i-ever-saw-an-amputee-getting-hanged-id-148836/

Chicago Style
Martin, Demetri. "If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters." FixQuotes. February 9, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-i-ever-saw-an-amputee-getting-hanged-id-148836/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters." FixQuotes, 9 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-i-ever-saw-an-amputee-getting-hanged-id-148836/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.

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About the Author

Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin (born May 25, 1973) is a Comedian from USA.

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