"If I'd known how old I was going to be, I'd have taken better care of myself"
About this Quote
The specific intent is comic consolation. He gives permission to laugh at the small humiliations of the body - the knees, the lungs, the accumulated wear - without sliding into tragedy. Subtext: regret is inevitable, but it’s also slightly absurd. You can’t “take better care” of yourself in a way that truly outsmarts time, and the line quietly admits that self-optimization is a fantasy people sell themselves to feel in control.
Context matters: Durante came from an era when showbiz was physical work - touring, smoking, late nights, loud rooms - and when public personas were built on resilient charm rather than wellness discipline. Coming from an older comedian, it reads like a wink from someone who’s survived his own myth. It’s also a cultural tell: modern life treats health as a moral performance; Durante frames it as an after-the-fact lesson you only learn once the exam is over. The laugh catches because the ruefulness is real, and because the comedian doesn’t demand sympathy - he steals it with timing.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Durante, Jimmy. (2026, February 16). If I'd known how old I was going to be, I'd have taken better care of myself. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-id-known-how-old-i-was-going-to-be-id-have-124854/
Chicago Style
Durante, Jimmy. "If I'd known how old I was going to be, I'd have taken better care of myself." FixQuotes. February 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-id-known-how-old-i-was-going-to-be-id-have-124854/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"If I'd known how old I was going to be, I'd have taken better care of myself." FixQuotes, 16 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-id-known-how-old-i-was-going-to-be-id-have-124854/. Accessed 21 Feb. 2026.





