"If you are still being hurt by an event that happened to you at twelve, it is the thought that is hurting you now"
About this Quote
Hillman’s line performs a neat psychological judo move: it yanks the locus of pain out of the past and plants it squarely in the present tense. The provocation is deliberate. It’s not a denial that something real happened at twelve; it’s a refusal to let the event keep the starring role. The real antagonist, he suggests, is the mind’s ongoing narration - the interpretation, replay, and meaning-making that keeps the wound metabolically active.
The intent is to restore agency without resorting to pep-talk empowerment. By insisting “it is the thought,” Hillman reframes suffering as something maintained by psychic habits: a loop of images, judgments, and rehearsed identities (“this is what I am because that happened”). That’s classic Hillman in its emphasis on imagination as force, not fluff. The subtext is slightly bracing, even confrontational: if the pain persists, you can’t outsource all responsibility to a frozen scene from childhood. You’re participating in its upkeep, whether through rumination, avoidance, or the grim comfort of a familiar story.
Context matters. Hillman was an archetypal psychologist, skeptical of therapy-as-repair-shop and of simplistic causality (“adult symptom equals childhood cause”). He’s pushing against a culture that treats biography like destiny. The sentence works because it compresses a whole therapeutic stance into a single grammatical pivot: “happened” versus “is hurting.” Past tense becomes less powerful than present attention. It’s an invitation to shift from excavation to relationship: not “what happened?” but “what am I doing with it now?”
The intent is to restore agency without resorting to pep-talk empowerment. By insisting “it is the thought,” Hillman reframes suffering as something maintained by psychic habits: a loop of images, judgments, and rehearsed identities (“this is what I am because that happened”). That’s classic Hillman in its emphasis on imagination as force, not fluff. The subtext is slightly bracing, even confrontational: if the pain persists, you can’t outsource all responsibility to a frozen scene from childhood. You’re participating in its upkeep, whether through rumination, avoidance, or the grim comfort of a familiar story.
Context matters. Hillman was an archetypal psychologist, skeptical of therapy-as-repair-shop and of simplistic causality (“adult symptom equals childhood cause”). He’s pushing against a culture that treats biography like destiny. The sentence works because it compresses a whole therapeutic stance into a single grammatical pivot: “happened” versus “is hurting.” Past tense becomes less powerful than present attention. It’s an invitation to shift from excavation to relationship: not “what happened?” but “what am I doing with it now?”
Quote Details
| Topic | Letting Go |
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