"I'm convinced there's a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer"

Peter Ustinov’s witty observation about a “small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer” encapsulates his views on the delicate art of diplomacy. Rather than suggesting diplomats lack intelligence or clarity, Ustinov is playfully critiquing the cautious, hesitant way officials often speak. Diplomats are known for navigating complex political situations and sensitive international relationships, where directness can be hazardous. Instead of firm declarations, their speech becomes filled with ambiguity, vagueness, and hedging language. The “stammer” Ustinov refers to is not a literal speech impediment, but a deliberate rhetorical habit, a way to avoid firm commitments or offending others.

The metaphor of a room in the attic conveys secrecy, tradition, and something hidden away from public view. The attic is a place of storage, possibly suggesting that these communication skills are handed down and carefully preserved, passed from generation to generation of trainees in the ministry. The implication is that such careful speech is not merely a consequence of individual personalities, but rather an institutionalized part of diplomatic culture. Stammering, as Ustinov sees it, becomes a safeguard; it buys time, protects against being pinned down, and maintains a necessary air of politeness and ambiguity.

By framing this tendency in amusing terms, Ustinov highlights the absurdity and the humor inherent in diplomatic communication. At the same time, he shows respect for the peculiar necessities of international affairs, where saying the wrong thing, even by accident, can have serious consequences. Diplomats must weigh their words with extreme care, cultivating a manner of talking that can sound evasive, overly cautious, or even bumbling to outsiders. Ustinov’s quote reveals an understanding of both the human foibles and the professional requirements that shape diplomatic language, offering a sly commentary on the costs and virtues of talking without truly saying anything definitive.