"In fact, street gangs are the primary distributor of illegal drugs in the United States"

"I don't do drugs. I am drugs"

"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power"

"In my private life, I'm not around any drugs or alcohol"

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me"

"Now is not the time to give greater protections to pharmaceutical companies that put unsafe drugs like Vioxx on the market. Such protections have nothing to do with the liability insurance crisis facing doctors and should be stripped from this bill"

"Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as alternatives to being an interesting person"

"I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota"

"I never trashed a hotel room or did drugs"

"I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band"

"The arrival of a good clown exercises a more beneficial influence upon the health of a town than of twenty asses laden with drugs"