"It would have been convenient to be gay. Just because of the grooming, the narcissism, stuff like that. But I have this kind of roaring heterosexuality. Traditional, uncomplicated heterosexuality, an almost cliched Robin Askwith thing"
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Brand’s joke hinges on an almost impolite candor: he treats sexuality not as destiny or politics but as lifestyle logistics. “It would have been convenient to be gay” is deliberately wrong-footed phrasing, because “convenient” is the kind of word you’d use for public transit, not identity. The comic engine is the mismatch. He’s not confessing; he’s inventorying. Grooming, narcissism: he’s winking at stereotypes of gay male culture while simultaneously admitting the traits he already shares. The punchline isn’t “gay men are vain,” it’s “I’m vain, and I wish my orientation matched my personality’s accessories.”
Then he swerves into self-mockery with “roaring heterosexuality,” inflating straightness into an overperformed, almost cartoon masculinity. The repetition of “traditional, uncomplicated heterosexuality” reads like a parody of the culture-war demand that heterosexuality be framed as normal, sturdy, and morally unconfused. Brand makes it sound like a product label: no additives, no questions, no nuance.
The “Robin Askwith thing” is a very British, very specific tell: Askwith’s 1970s sex-comedy persona, a leering lad caught in endless near-nudity farces. By invoking that reference, Brand places his “cliched” straightness in the lineage of carry-on smut and laddish nostalgia, which is both an admission and a critique. The subtext is that he knows his heterosexuality can look performative, even embarrassing, but he’s choosing to expose it rather than sanctify it. The intent isn’t to adjudicate sexuality; it’s to puncture the self-seriousness around it by admitting how much of desire, identity, and masculinity is just cultural costume.
Then he swerves into self-mockery with “roaring heterosexuality,” inflating straightness into an overperformed, almost cartoon masculinity. The repetition of “traditional, uncomplicated heterosexuality” reads like a parody of the culture-war demand that heterosexuality be framed as normal, sturdy, and morally unconfused. Brand makes it sound like a product label: no additives, no questions, no nuance.
The “Robin Askwith thing” is a very British, very specific tell: Askwith’s 1970s sex-comedy persona, a leering lad caught in endless near-nudity farces. By invoking that reference, Brand places his “cliched” straightness in the lineage of carry-on smut and laddish nostalgia, which is both an admission and a critique. The subtext is that he knows his heterosexuality can look performative, even embarrassing, but he’s choosing to expose it rather than sanctify it. The intent isn’t to adjudicate sexuality; it’s to puncture the self-seriousness around it by admitting how much of desire, identity, and masculinity is just cultural costume.
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| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
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