"It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men"

Mae West’s quip, "It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men", captures her characteristic wit and subversive approach to social conventions. Rather than emphasizing quantity—how many relationships she’s had or how many admirers she’s collected—she draws attention to the quality and vitality of her companions. For Mae West, relationships are not trophies or milestones, but vibrant experiences defined by passion, excitement, and zest. The statement upends the tendency to judge a woman’s worth or allure by the number of men associated with her, cleverly suggesting that these associations are insignificant compared to the actual substance each person brings to her life.

The phrase dances around the notion of vitality, energy, and individuality. To possess "life" is to be engaging, spirited, and perhaps a bit daring—qualities West herself celebrated and embodied both onscreen and off. Rather than being a passive recipient of attention, she positions herself as someone who seeks and appreciates partners who are lively and dynamic, refuting the passive female archetype common in her era.

Sexual innuendo hums beneath the words; West was famous for lacing her comedy with double meanings. The "life" in her men isn’t just animation or character but also sexual prowess, charm, and confidence. Rather than apologizing for her appetites or preferences, she spotlights them and refashions them into a source of playful female agency. The quip is a sneaky assertion of control, refusing to let her value be defined by others, while also humorously challenging traditional judgements about women’s relationships and desires. Ultimately, she turns the focus away from external tallies and toward authentic, exuberant connection, asserting not just her autonomy, but the enduring appeal of self-knowledge and enjoyment.