"Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it"

Russell Baker’s observation, “Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it,” signals a subtle but telling transformation in the human response to suffering. The traditional saying, “misery loves company,” reflects the idea that when we experience hardship or sadness, we find solace knowing we are not alone, seeking comfort or understanding from others who share in our pain. Baker argues that the relationship to misery has shifted from seeking passive companionship to actively demanding validation or participation in distress.

Contemporary society, shaped by rapid communication and digital interconnectedness, amplifies this insistence. Misery is not merely quietly shared; it is broadcast, sometimes even weaponized. Individuals are not content to merely know others share their misfortune; there is often a stronger drive to pull others into the vortex of their complaint or sadness, demanding empathy, outrage, or even shared cynicism. Social media platforms become amplifiers where personal setbacks or grievances are aired and spread, almost as mandates for communal emotional engagement.

This phenomenon reflects an underlying compulsion for suffering to be witnessed, affirmed, and even joined. Empathy is no longer quietly exchanged but expected, and there is sometimes a subtle pressure to join in others’ misery, whether in response to personal drama or larger social grievances. The boundary between sharing and insisting blurs, the afflicted not only wish for company but sometimes cast judgment on those who will not join in their sentiment. The emotional climate is one where participation becomes obligatory; standing apart can be interpreted as a lack of compassion or solidarity.

Baker’s aphorism laments this progression. He hints at the possible dangers of allowing misery to dictate terms, transforming shared humanity into a demand for collective suffering. The insistence upon communal misery narrows the space for resilience or optimism, and compromises individual emotional boundaries. In insisting upon company, misery seeks not relief but dominance.