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Humor & Life Quote by Spike Milligan

"Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy"

About this Quote

Milligan lands the punchline where polite society hides its bruises: money doesn’t purchase intimacy, but it absolutely upgrades the people who want something from you. The line is built on a bait-and-switch that feels almost like a magic trick. “Money couldn’t buy friends” tees up a familiar moral bromide about the limits of wealth. Then he twists it: fine, no friends - but enjoy your new, more sophisticated hostilities. It’s not just cynicism; it’s a social diagnosis delivered in one clean jab.

The phrase “better class” does the real work. It borrows the language of British stratification - class as taste, accent, schooling, entitlement - and uses it as a weapon. Milligan implies that wealth doesn’t remove conflict; it merely changes its costume. Enemies become “better” not in ethics but in presentation: lawyers instead of thugs, whisper networks instead of bar fights, rivalries disguised as etiquette. The subtext is that status attracts attention that looks like respect until it isn’t.

As a comedian shaped by wartime service and postwar Britain’s tightening and loosening hierarchies, Milligan understood how institutions and manners can be their own kind of violence. The joke punches upward and sideways: at the rich for imagining money cleanses them, and at the culture that treats “class” as a moral credential. It works because it’s funny in the way uncomfortable truths are funny - the laugh catches in your throat, because you recognize the upgrade.

Quote Details

TopicWitty One-Liners
Source
Verified source: Puckoon (Spike Milligan, 1963)
Text match: 100.00%   Provider: Cross-Reference
Evidence:
Money couldn't buy friends but you got a better class of enemy. (Chapter 6). Earliest primary-source attribution located is Spike Milligan’s novel Puckoon (first published 1963). Multiple independent reference sources attribute the line to Chapter 6, spoken/thought in context of the character Mrs. Doonan (often written as “Mrs. Doonan, in Puckoon, ch. 6 (1963)”). I was able to verify the exact wording in running text as reproduced in a reading-group excerpt of the relevant passage. However, I did not obtain a scan of the 1963 Anthony Blond first edition page to provide an authoritative page number; the Internet Archive copy available is a later Penguin edition (metadata: 1988) and is access-restricted in-browser, preventing reliable page citation from that scan here.
Other candidates (1)
Humorous Wit (Djamel Ouis, 2020) compilation95.0%
... Spike Milligan Money couldn't buy friends , but you got a better class of enemy . Spike Milligan If you have to a...
Cite

Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Milligan, Spike. (2026, February 8). Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/money-couldnt-buy-friends-but-you-got-a-better-1830/

Chicago Style
Milligan, Spike. "Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy." FixQuotes. February 8, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/money-couldnt-buy-friends-but-you-got-a-better-1830/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy." FixQuotes, 8 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/money-couldnt-buy-friends-but-you-got-a-better-1830/. Accessed 17 Feb. 2026.

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Money Couldnt Buy Friends But You Got a Better Class of Enemy – Spike Milligan
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About the Author

Spike Milligan

Spike Milligan (April 16, 1918 - February 27, 2002) was a Comedian from Ireland.

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