"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash"
About this Quote
The joke works on misdirection and escalation. The premise is absurd medical malpractice, but the punchline isn’t about medicine; it’s about the indignity of being tethered. The “forgot to cut the cord” line literalizes what culture already says metaphorically: the mother-child bond is total, inescapable, and socially nonnegotiable. By extending it “for a year,” she stretches postpartum reality into cartoon physics, where emotional truth can be said without asking permission.
Calling the baby “that kid” is doing heavy lifting. It’s a tiny act of distance that punctures the sentimental script. And comparing the child to “a dog on a leash” is sharp because it flips expected roles: the parent isn’t guiding; she’s being dragged around by responsibility. It’s not anti-child so much as anti-mythology: a jab at the way motherhood is marketed as radiant fulfillment while many women experience it as surveillance, exhaustion, and constant attachment.
Contextually, Rivers built a career on weaponizing taboo - pregnancy, aging, marriage - to expose how little room women were given to be ambivalent. The laugh is the release valve, but the subtext is pure claustrophobia.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
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Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Rivers, Joan. (2026, January 18). My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/my-obstetrician-was-so-dumb-that-when-i-gave-19705/
Chicago Style
Rivers, Joan. "My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/my-obstetrician-was-so-dumb-that-when-i-gave-19705/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/my-obstetrician-was-so-dumb-that-when-i-gave-19705/. Accessed 9 Feb. 2026.





