"Never mind. The self is the least of it. Let our scars fall in love"

Galway Kinnell’s words evoke the complex interplay between personal identity and the marks left by life’s experiences. The phrase “Never mind. The self is the least of it” gestures toward a de-centering of the ego, suggesting that our consciousness, what we call the ‘self’, matters less than we might assume. Rather than fixating on selfhood, individuality, or inner narrative, the emphasis shifts elsewhere. The scratches, wounds, and remnants from past hardship, our scars, take center stage, not as symbols of weakness, but as bearers of meaning and points of connection.

“Let our scars fall in love” is a call to vulnerability and shared understanding. Scars are not just private reminders of pain; they are records of survival, common to every life. Kinnell points to the possibility that it is through these wounds that true intimacy and empathy are kindled. We often try to hide our scars, perceiving them as blemishes or sources of shame. Yet, there is an invitation here to allow the most damaged, tender parts of ourselves to reach toward one another. What is uniquely human, our struggles, our suffering, our recoveries, may become the very medium of connection.

In encouraging the union of our scars, Kinnell challenges notions of perfection and self-sufficiency. Genuine relationships arise not when polished personas meet, but when the aftermath of pain is revealed and recognized in another. The intertwining of scars implies union despite, or even because of, brokenness. It is a poetic celebration of solidarity in imperfection, the beauty in endurance, and the deep kinship available through mutual acceptance of each other’s histories.

Kinnell’s words suggest that love is most authentic when it acknowledges damage, forgives, and persists. By putting aside preoccupation with our own selves, and allowing the places where we have been marked by life to meet, we find common ground, and perhaps, the substance of grace.