"On the other hand, when I give it closer thought, I realize I'm not enough of a dictator to conduct an orchestra because it requires a pretty awful person. When you read these biographies of famous conductors, they are all awful people who fail in their private relationships"

Eberhard Weber’s observation delves into the complex personalities often associated with orchestral conductors, probing the intersection of authority, character, and personal sacrifice. He acknowledges the immense leadership and force of will required to direct an orchestra, a vast, intricate collective that demands unity, precision, and strict adherence to a singular artistic vision. Through his self-reflection, Weber expresses a personal reluctance to assume this role, recognizing within himself a lack of what he calls "dictatorial" qualities.

His argument is not just about authority, but about the harsh demands of leadership at this elite level. Conducting an orchestra isn’t just about musical skill; it requires an ability to command, perhaps unflinchingly, shaping every note and nuance according to the conductor’s interpretation. Weber suggests that this necessity for control can foster, or perhaps demand, a certain harshness or insensitivity. By referencing the personal lives of renowned conductors, he draws a link between public greatness and private struggle. The implication is that those consumed by the burden and ambition of leading an orchestra often fall short in their personal relationships; the same traits that drive their artistic success, ruthlessness, single-mindedness, intolerance for compromise, can render them "awful" companions, friends, or family members.

Weber’s candidness carries a degree of irony and humility, as he both scrutinizes and distances himself from this pattern. It raises broader questions about the human costs associated with greatness in any demanding field. To reach the highest levels of authority or artistic achievement often requires sacrificing parts of one’s softer or more adaptable self. There is an underlying tension between creating beauty and enacting ugliness in human relations, a burden borne quietly behind the spectacle of public artistry. Weber’s reflection ultimately invites consideration of what we ask of our leaders and creators, and at what cost that excellence is purchased.