"Only in the silence of oneself can we hear the other, understand the other, only in the silence of oneself can we be with the other"
About this Quote
The capacity to meet another person begins with the work of quieting the inner clamor. When the mind is crowded with rehearsed replies, anxieties, and the urge to be right, we do not encounter the other at all; we collide with our projections. Inner silence is not emptiness but a clearing, a space wide enough for someone else to arrive without being forced to fit our narrative.
To truly hear someone is to suspend the need to prepare a response. It is an active receptivity, a listening that makes room for tone, hesitation, and what remains unspoken. Understanding grows in that pause. It asks humility: the recognition that the other is not an extension of our desires or fears, and that their meaning may take time to disclose itself. In quieting the self, we loosen the grip of judgment and hurry, and we discover a curiosity that is neither invasive nor indifferent.
Being with the other goes further than comprehension. It is presence without conquest: sharing a silence that does not demand a solution, a pace that allows another’s truth to reveal its contours. Such presence becomes a form of care, attentive, undistracted, and gentle. It also requires boundaries; inner quiet does not mean dissolving into the other, but standing clear enough to meet them without defense.
This stance is countercultural in a world that prizes speed, commentary, and performance. Our devices amplify an inner monologue; our identities become broadcasts. Practicing a brief inner stillness, a breath before speaking, a question that invites elaboration, a willingness to let conversational gaps breathe, reclaims the human scale of encounter. The paradox holds: by stepping back inside ourselves, we step closer to one another. Silence is not withdrawal but hospitality, the threshold on which two realities can touch without erasing each other. In that shared quiet, hearing ripens into understanding, and understanding into companionship.
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