Life & Wisdom Quote by Mary Wilson Little

Politeness, Mary Wilson Little reminds us, is not the soft-focus version of morality; its backbone is strategy. By splitting it into “half good manners and half good lying,” she punctures the comforting idea that courtesy is pure kindness. Manners are the visible choreography: the greetings, the thanks, the measured tone that keeps public life from turning into a daily brawl. The “lying” is the part polite society prefers not to name: the small fictions that let people save face, keep peace, and move on.

The line works because it’s blunt without being cynical for its own sake. Little isn’t attacking politeness so much as demystifying it. Courtesy often requires you to perform agreement you don’t feel, warmth you can’t summon, or patience you don’t have. That’s not hypocrisy so much as social lubrication. It’s the difference between truth as a weapon and truth as a value.

Context matters: Little came of age in a late-19th and early-20th century culture that prized restraint, reputation, and “proper” behavior, especially for women whose public power was limited but whose social influence was real. Politeness was a tool, sometimes a shield. The subtext is pragmatic: if you want to live among others, you will constantly negotiate between authenticity and civility. The danger, implicit but sharp, is when the “good lying” stops being small mercies and becomes a lifestyle - politeness as a mask for cruelty, exclusion, or control.