"The poem is sad because it wants to be yours, and cannot be"
About this Quote
The line also winks at intimacy. “Yours” suggests a relationship more than a transaction: the wish that a poem could belong to you the way a memory, a lover, or a private joke might. Ashbery’s speaker recognizes the fantasy and punctures it in the same breath. A poem can court you, haunt you, feel tailored to your life, but the moment you try to pin it down as “mine,” it slips back into language’s public life. Other readers arrive. Time changes you. Even you reread it differently, which means you can’t quite be its final owner either.
In Ashbery’s larger context - postwar American poetry suspicious of grand certainties, and his own career of making opacity feel conversational - the sentence is a soft manifesto. It defends difficulty not as elitism but as honesty: meaning is relational, temporary, and shared. The poem “wants” you, but it won’t flatter you with permanence. That’s the ache, and the lure.
Quote Details
| Topic | Heartbreak |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Ashbery, John. (2026, January 16). The poem is sad because it wants to be yours, and cannot be. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-poem-is-sad-because-it-wants-to-be-yours-and-131867/
Chicago Style
Ashbery, John. "The poem is sad because it wants to be yours, and cannot be." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-poem-is-sad-because-it-wants-to-be-yours-and-131867/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"The poem is sad because it wants to be yours, and cannot be." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-poem-is-sad-because-it-wants-to-be-yours-and-131867/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.










