"These rejections hurt me terribly because I felt it was my life that was being rejected"
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In the quote "These rejections hurt me terribly because I felt it was my life that was being rejected", Edmund White poignantly records the deep, individual impact that rejection can have on a person. This sentence exposes the extensive psychological connection between an individual's self-worth and the acceptance or validation they receive from others. When somebody invests their identity, dreams, or efforts into something, any termination of that financial investment can feel like a termination of their very existence.
First, it's important to understand the dual nature of rejection. On an external level, it could be a professional problem-- like a manuscript being turned down-- or on an individual level, such as experiencing rejection in relationships. Nevertheless, White is speaking to the internalized perception of these rejections, which amplifies their effect. It isn't merely the job or the concept being turned away; it's an intimate aspect of the person themselves-- their imagination, their ambitions, and their essence-- being invalidated.
Through White's lens, each rejection is interpreted as a judgment on one's life choices and intrinsic worth. This internalization can stem from a deep-seated belief in one's creations or efforts as extensions of oneself. In such a context, "no" is not just an action to a question or a proposition, however a negation of one's self-identity and individual story. It wounds since it challenges the notions of self that the specific holds dear.
Furthermore, this statement highlights the vulnerability intrinsic in any act of production or expression. To offer part of oneself to the world requires nerve, as it includes exposing personal layers to external analysis and possible dismissal. Thus, the discomfort White describes is not practically the immediate feeling of rejection, however the shattering of a connection in between his inner world and the external environment.
In essence, White's quote encapsulates the distress of feeling unseen or decreased the value of and reflects a universal element of the human condition-- the desire for understanding, approval, and recommendation.
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