"Virginity is such a personal thing. You can't judge anyone on it. A lot of young women feel they want to save themselves for the man who they think they'll love forever"
About this Quote
Joyce Brothers, the pioneering media psychologist, pushes back against turning virginity into a moral scorecard. She frames it as private, contextual, and rooted in personal values, not a public credential to be weighed, ranked, or used to shame. That stance challenges long-standing double standards that load female sexuality with purity myths while excusing or celebrating sexual experience in men. By refusing judgment, she restores agency: the decision to wait, to choose, or to change one's mind belongs to the person who lives with the consequences.
Her observation that many young women want to "save themselves" for a presumed forever partner captures the scripts many are handed. It carries tenderness and hope, but also the social conditioning of an era that equated virtue with delay and tied a woman's worth to a relationship's permanence. Brothers neither mocks nor endorses the script; she notes it and then insists on compassion. The point is not to substitute one rule for another, but to allow room for nuance: ideals evolve, relationships end, and people learn what they value through experience as well as restraint.
Context matters. Speaking from the mid-to-late 20th century, Brothers used mass media to normalize candid talk about sex and psychology. Her advice typically blended pragmatism with empathy, steering audiences away from stigma and toward self-knowledge and responsibility. That tone resonates today, when debates about purity culture, consent, and sexual health still hinge on respect for autonomy.
The deeper ethic centers on consent, honesty, and care, not a status label at a single point in time. Respect the person who chooses to wait and the person who does not. A life is not reducible to a before-and-after, and love is not guaranteed by waiting. Dignity lies in making informed choices free of judgment.
Her observation that many young women want to "save themselves" for a presumed forever partner captures the scripts many are handed. It carries tenderness and hope, but also the social conditioning of an era that equated virtue with delay and tied a woman's worth to a relationship's permanence. Brothers neither mocks nor endorses the script; she notes it and then insists on compassion. The point is not to substitute one rule for another, but to allow room for nuance: ideals evolve, relationships end, and people learn what they value through experience as well as restraint.
Context matters. Speaking from the mid-to-late 20th century, Brothers used mass media to normalize candid talk about sex and psychology. Her advice typically blended pragmatism with empathy, steering audiences away from stigma and toward self-knowledge and responsibility. That tone resonates today, when debates about purity culture, consent, and sexual health still hinge on respect for autonomy.
The deeper ethic centers on consent, honesty, and care, not a status label at a single point in time. Respect the person who chooses to wait and the person who does not. A life is not reducible to a before-and-after, and love is not guaranteed by waiting. Dignity lies in making informed choices free of judgment.
Quote Details
| Topic | Love |
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