"Well, I did know - but I just wanted the day to pass and the next day to come and then I wanted that one to pass. It was a horrible cycle. I felt so close to having to pack the game in"

In this quote, Paul Gascoigne, a popular English footballer, offers insight into his individual battles throughout a troubled period in his life. The statement shows a sense of despair and dullness, indicating that he was caught in a cycle of wishing for days to pass quickly, without obtaining joy or complete satisfaction from them. This feeling might be connected with various elements of his life, including mental health problems, addiction, or the pressures and challenges of his professional career.

The expression "I did understand" suggests that Gascoigne was aware of specific problems or realities but chose to neglect or reduce them, maybe due to being overwhelmed or just since challenging them was too hard. This prevails among people dealing with considerable stress or psychological health difficulties, as acknowledging the full level of one's issues can be daunting.

His desire for the days to pass rapidly points to a profound sense of frustration and perhaps depression, where one's capacity to discover pleasure or significance in everyday activities is severely reduced. This can lead to a form of emotional numbness, where time feels like a barrier to a better future, rather than a series of moments to be embraced and lived.

The reference of being "so near needing to load the video game in" is especially poignant, suggesting that he felt near a breaking point in his career. For Gascoigne, whose identity was deeply linked with football, the concept of quitting the sport suggests a loss of purpose and instructions. This reflects how misfortune in one's individual life can overflow into expert worlds, developing a vicious cycle of despondence.

In general, the quote records the essence of someone facing internal demons, feeling trapped in their current situation, and yearning for escape. It highlights the importance of looking for help and the need to break devoid of such a cycle by attending to underlying issues.