"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it"
About this Quote
The subtext is misanthropy with plausible deniability. He’s not railing against a corrupt mayor or an unfaithful lover; he’s indicting the physical world. It’s cynicism made cozy, packaged as folksy logic. The phrasing helps: “You can’t trust water” sounds like a warning from a man who’s learned the hard way, as if hydration itself has a criminal record. Then the “Even” ups the paranoia: not only is water unreliable, it sabotages the most basic symbol of honesty, a straight stick.
Context matters: Fields built a career in the early 20th century playing the charmingly unreliable drinker, the hustler who expects to be hustled. Prohibition-era America was already primed for jokes about liquids, deception, and the gap between appearances and official stories. The line works because it takes a scientific certainty and rebrands it as street wisdom, letting audiences laugh at distrust while quietly recognizing how often the world really does look crooked through the wrong medium.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Fields, W. C. (2026, January 18). You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/you-cant-trust-water-even-a-straight-stick-turns-10722/
Chicago Style
Fields, W. C. "You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/you-cant-trust-water-even-a-straight-stick-turns-10722/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/you-cant-trust-water-even-a-straight-stick-turns-10722/. Accessed 20 Feb. 2026.












