Inspiring Quotes by Woody Allen - Page 2

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose"

"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness"

"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words"

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib"

"I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her"

"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear"

"I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government"

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it"

"Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun"

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon"

"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable"

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television"

"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers"

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