"After I had given up to go, the thoughts of the journey were often attended with unusual sadness, at which times my heart was frequently turned to the Lord with inward breathings for his heavenly support, that I might not fail to follow him wheresoever he might lead me"
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In this quote, John Woolman exposes a profound inner struggle and a deep spiritual journey. Woolman, a popular Quaker understood for his advocacy against slavery in the 18th century, typically reflected on personal convictions and the guidance of divine will. This excerpt is abundant with introspection and highlights a stress in between worldly choices and spiritual dedication.
The expression "After I had given up to go" suggests a moment of surrender or relinquishment. Woolman may be mentioning a personal resolution or decision he initially resisted, only to ultimately adhere to an inner voice or magnificent triggering. The concept of 'given up' presumes an internal battle where his preliminary desires or fears were controlled in favor of a greater calling or function.
He speaks of the journey with "unusual unhappiness", showing psychological and mental weight in the contemplation or act itself. This unhappiness might arise from apprehension about the unknown, the costs of dedication, or the separation from enjoyed ones or familiar surroundings. Nevertheless, the juxtaposition of sadness with "ideas of the journey" could likewise signify the gravity and significance of the course he feels forced to take-- a journey that is both literal and metaphorical, involving physical travel and spiritual exploration or transformation.
Woolman's action to these feelings was to turn inwardly towards "the Lord with inward breathings for his divine support". This phrase encapsulates a practice of silent, meditative prayer or communion with God. Woolman seeks divine support, not through outward expressions or routines, however through intimate, personal dialogue with the divine, reflecting the Quaker focus on individual experience of God.
The desire "that I might not fail to follow him wheresoever he may lead me" illustrates Woolman's submission to divine guidance. It highlights his commitment to trust in God's will, no matter personal expense or unpredictability. This quote encapsulates a powerful example of faith and commitment to spiritual conviction, acting as a tip of the internal fights numerous deal with when aligning their lives with deeply held beliefs or callings.
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