"Bath twice a day to be really clean, once a day to be passably clean, once a week to avoid being a public menace"

Anthony Burgess’s playful remark about bathing frequency offers more than just hygienic advice; it encapsulates social norms, personal standards, and the subjective nature of cleanliness. Bathing twice daily is upheld as the gold standard of personal hygiene, "to be really clean", suggesting a meticulous approach not only to body care but possibly to life itself. This level of diligence might be associated with individuals who are excessively concerned with order, self-presentation, or ritual, perhaps hinting at a kind of moral or civilized ideal.

Bathing "once a day to be passably clean" represents the societal baseline, sufficient to meet expectations, avoid embarrassment, and fit in with the norm. It's a tacit acknowledgment that absolute perfection (twice daily) is rarely required or practical, and that there is an accepted middle ground where most people operate. This aligns with the idea that much of social life is about meeting conventions, not necessarily striving for exceptional virtue or effort in every sphere.

The wittiest and perhaps most telling part is the final clause: washing "once a week to avoid being a public menace". Here, minimal effort is framed as the threshold between private neglect and becoming an outward burden, reinforcing how personal habits can cross over into public concern. There’s an implicit commentary on how one's standards may be private, but their effects are often communal. When hygiene is neglected for too long, the consequences impact others, a reminder of the individual’s responsibility to the collective.

Burgess’s humor is evident in the escalation of language, from "really clean" to "passably clean" down to the level of "public menace". The playful tone masks a serious truth about the invisible social contracts governing daily life: the balance between personal choice and societal expectation, and the negotiation each person must undertake between comfort, conformity, and obligation to the community.