"Be nice to whites, they need you to rediscover their humanity"

Desmond Tutu’s words challenge readers to examine relationships between oppressor and oppressed within the context of apartheid and broader experiences of systemic racism. The phrase “Be nice to whites” at first appears paradoxical, as it asks those who have been subject to injustice or dehumanization to approach the perpetrators of those injustices with kindness. For those accustomed to one-sided narratives of victimhood and blame, Tutu’s call is deeply countercultural. He suggests that the work of healing and transformation is not only about liberating the oppressed, but also about rescuing the humanity of those who have participated in, or benefited from, systems of oppression.

The idea that the dominant group “need[s] you to rediscover their humanity” redirects the conversation from a simple binary of good and evil. It implies that in the act of dehumanizing others, oppressors also lose touch with their own humanity. Cruelty, prejudice, and violence corrode the inner life of the perpetrator just as surely as they harm the victim. By inviting “niceness”, which can be interpreted as compassion, empathy, or forgiveness, Tutu places moral agency in the hands of the marginalized, suggesting they hold a crucial part in the process of mutual liberation. This is not an appeal for submission or passivity; rather, it is a call for a higher moral standard, which can break the cycles of hatred and retaliation.

Tutu’s words resonate with the principles of restorative justice and Ubuntu, the African philosophy asserting our shared humanity: “I am because we are.” They embody the belief that healing a fractured society requires not just changes in laws or policies, but spiritual and interpersonal reconciliations. By urging acts of grace towards those who have hated or feared, Tutu gestures toward a future in which all members of society are restored, and both oppressed and oppressor gain freedom through the rediscovery of their own best selves.