"Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories"

John Wilmot humorously captures the discrepancy between theoretical knowledge and lived experience, particularly in the context of parenting. Before becoming a parent, it is common for people to hold confident beliefs about the right way to raise children. These theories are often formed from books, observation, cultural expectations, or simply from imagining what parenting involves. At this stage, without the demands and unpredictability of actual children, it is relatively easy to believe that logical approaches and carefully constructed plans will lead to successful childrearing outcomes.

However, as Wilmot suggests, direct involvement shifts perspectives dramatically. After having children, he finds himself with none of the certainty he once had, only the bustling reality of three children. Parenting in practice proves far messier and more complex than imagined. Children are individuals with distinct personalities and emotions; they do not always respond predictably or conform to any single method. Challenges emerge unanticipated, and solutions rarely fit into neat theoretical frameworks. Instead of executing pre-planned strategies, parents adapt and improvise, driven by love, fatigue, and deeply personal experiences.

Wilmot’s words also reflect a universal process: the humbling nature of real experience. Theories can provide a sense of comfort or control, but immersion in real-life situations often dispels illusions of omniscience. The messiness, unpredictability, and emotional stakes of parenting resist abstraction. Many parents, once convinced of their methods, later acknowledge just how little can be controlled or foreseen.

His reflection gently mocks the arrogance of certainty and celebrates the humility that arises from living through challenges. Wilmot invites us to find humor in our pretensions and understand that sometimes wisdom means letting go of our need for neatly packaged answers. In recognizing the limits of theory, he implies that genuine growth arises in the doing, fumbling, and loving inherent to raising children.