"But I do have time to pencil in golf, and we've got four excellent courses"

"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course"

"The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law"

"I'm addicted. I'm addicted to golf"

"If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out"

"There is no life for girls in team sports past Little League. I got into tennis when I realized this, and because I thought golf would be too slow for me, and I was too scared to swim"

"As a kid, I might have been psycho, I guess, but I used to throw golf balls in the trees and try and somehow make par from them. I thought that was fun"

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps"

"Golf may be a hussy, but I love her"

"Golf isn't just my business, it's my hobby"

"A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave"