Golf Quotes: Swinging Thoughts and Fairway Wisdom

"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course"

Hank Aaron, Athlete

"The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law"

H.G. Wells, Author

"I'm addicted. I'm addicted to golf"

Tiger Woods, Athlete

"If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out"

Paul Gallico, Writer

"There is no life for girls in team sports past Little League. I got into tennis when I realized this, and because I thought golf would be too slow for me, and I was too scared to swim"

Billie Jean King, Athlete

"As a kid, I might have been psycho, I guess, but I used to throw golf balls in the trees and try and somehow make par from them. I thought that was fun"

Tiger Woods, Athlete

"Golf may be a hussy, but I love her"

Don Herold, Writer

"Golf isn't just my business, it's my hobby"

Lee Trevino, Athlete

"A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave"

Jack Nicklaus, Athlete

"Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air"

Jack Benny, Comedian

"Golf is a search for perfection, for balance. It's about meditation and concentration. You have to use hand and brain"

Celine Dion, Musician

"Tiger is the greatest thing that's happened to the tour in a long time. He has brought incredible attention to golf at a time of year when football and the World Series always take precedence. Everything I've heard about him seems to be true"

Payne Stewart, Athlete

"Golf is fundamentally about being honest. I see people hit eight shots and tell me they shot five. I never say a word. It is a reminder to me of what is at stake"

Martin Sheen, Actor

"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake"

Henny Youngman, Comedian

"If there's a golf course in heaven, I hope it's like Augusta National. I just don't want an early tee time"

Gary Player, Athlete

"Almost a quarter of our planet is a single mountain range and we didn't enter it until after Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin went to the moon. So we went to the moon, played golf up there, before we went to the largest feature on our own planet"

Robert Ballard, Scientist

"In football, there were drinks available everywhere you looked. On a golf tournament, you could find one free anywhere you wanted it. In tennis and NBA basketball, everybody had a hospitality suite, and so you could go there and load up if you wanted to"

Pat Summerall, Celebrity

"One thing that golf teaches you is humility"

Robert Wagner, Actor

"Go out and have fun. Golf is a game for everyone, not just for the talented few"

Harvey Penick, Athlete

"We went around and looked and talked to a lot of foundations with those charities and decided upon the Children's Hospital. They had a golf tournament at the time, but it was a small event that didn't raise a significant amount of money"

Tom Kite, Athlete

"It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf"

H. L. Mencken, Writer

"Golf is a good walk spoiled"

Mark Twain, Author

"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling"

Mark Twain, Author

"I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles"

Gilbert K. Chesterton, Writer

"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course"

Groucho Marx, Comedian

"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf"

Bob Hope, Comedian

"One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President"

Lyndon B. Johnson, President

"The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf"

Bertrand Russell, Philosopher

"I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies"

Will Rogers, Actor

"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf"

Will Rogers, Actor

"The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green"

Ernest Hemingway, Novelist

"They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?"

Casey Stengel, Athlete

"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing"

Dave Barry, Author

"For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball"

Dave Barry, Author

"He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie"

Mickey Mantle, Athlete

"I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for - getting paid for doing what you love"

Tiger Woods, Athlete

"Don't force your kids into sports. I never was. To this day, my dad has never asked me to go play golf. I ask him. It's the child's desire to play that matters, not the parent's desire to have the child play. Fun. Keep it fun"

Tiger Woods, Athlete

"I do plan to return to golf one day, I just don't know when that day will be"

Tiger Woods, Athlete

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps"

Tiger Woods, Athlete

"I love to play golf, and that's my arena. And you can characterize it and describe it however you want, but I have a love and a passion for getting that ball in the hole and beating those guys"

Tiger Woods, Athlete

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