"Friendship is a disinterested commerce between equals; love, an abject intercourse between tyrants and slaves"

Oliver Goldsmith explores human relationships by contrasting friendship and love, framing them through the lens of equality versus inequality. Friendship, he argues, is a "disinterested commerce between equals", suggesting that true friendship is motivated by neither self-interest nor any expectation of return. Friends interact as equals, each respecting the autonomy and intrinsic value of the other. The word "disinterested" here indicates a selfless nature, where companionship is pursued for its own sake, not out of desire for advantage or personal gain. The metaphor "commerce" evokes a mutual exchange, but one free from transactionality or imbalance; it is an interaction fundamentally rooted in parity, trust, and voluntary goodwill.

In marked opposition stands love, depicted here in more somber, cynical hues. Goldsmith calls it "an abject intercourse between tyrants and slaves", dramatically evoking a relationship steeped in power dynamics, subjugation, and dependency. "Abject" underscores a sense of degradation or loss of autonomy. The pairing of "tyrants and slaves" reveals a view of intimate affection that is asymmetrical and fraught with unequal distribution of power. In love, one partner may exert dominance or control (the tyrant), while the other submits or is rendered powerless (the slave). Love, in Goldsmith’s portrayal, becomes the antithesis of friendship: instead of mutual respect and equality, it can devolve into a dynamic characterized by emotional bondage, manipulation, and hierarchy.

Goldsmith’s statement challenges romantic idealism and invites reflection on the nature of relationships. Where friendship is governed by honest, balanced exchanges, love can tip into obsession, jealousy, or neediness, producing dependency and suffering. The quote implies a skepticism about the purity or healthiness of romantic love, proposing instead that friendship offers a more stable, dignified, and egalitarian bond. By using such stark contrasts, Goldsmith stimulates debate about what makes connections between people beneficial or harmful, elevating selfless friendship above the hierarchical passions of romantic entanglement.