"Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone"

The words of John Ciardi draw attention to the enduring yet often subtle legacy of wealth within families. Gentility, in its traditional sense, goes beyond mere politeness or etiquette; it connotes a certain refinement, taste, and a way of interacting with the world that is associated with the well-to-do or aristocratic classes. Ciardi suggests that this quality, gentility, can outlast the tangible assets or material affluence that once made it possible. After the riches have dissipated, what may remain is the behavioral residue—the value system, manners, education, and conduct—that was cultivated during generations of prosperity.

There is a bittersweet tone underlying this observation. Gentility, once underwritten by economic security, becomes a kind of inherited performance, sustained more by tradition than by current wealth. People whose forebears enjoyed privilege may maintain the outward forms—accent, poise, tastes, even prejudices—long after the conditions that produced them have disappeared. It is a reminder that money and class are not always synonymous. Sometimes, social status lingers, somewhat hollowed out, persisting chiefly through habits and attitudes rather than through real power or resources.

Ciardi's remark also hints at social mobility and change. The values, tastes, and self-presentation of the upper crust can trickle down or be adopted by others, yet for those whose family fortunes have faded, gentility may feel like a relic—at once a source of dignity and a subtle reminder of loss. There's a tension between pride in a refined family legacy and the practical recognition that it can no longer confer the material advantages it once did.

Ultimately, the quote is a wry commentary on the separation of substance from surface. Wealth can be fleeting, but the customs, style, and character it fosters can endure for generations, for better or for worse, as a kind of ghostly inheritance.