"Gladly we desire to make other men perfect, but we will not amend our own fault"

Humans possess a natural tendency to notice the shortcomings in others while overlooking their own flaws. The familiar drive to critique, advise, or attempt to 'fix' those around us often comes from an honest desire to help. Yet, such a drive frequently masks an unwillingness to confront personal weaknesses. There is comfort and even subtle satisfaction in scrutinizing someone else's errors, because it distracts from the uncomfortable process of self-examination. Thomas à Kempis masterfully draws attention to this inclination, suggesting a paradox: people want their friends, partners, or communities to exhibit virtue and avoid mistakes, but shirk the discipline and humility required to change themselves.

This mentality emerges in everyday interactions, at work, in family life, or even within discussions among friends. For instance, it is easier to point out a coworker’s inefficiency than to correct one’s repeated lateness. Similarly, many freely dispense parenting tips, while remaining blind to their own impatience or inconsistencies at home. The desire for perfection in others reveals the standards we applaud, yet our reluctance to self-correct exposes our pride and resistance to vulnerability. Real personal growth requires painful honesty, courage, and a willingness to accept fault. It is emotionally demanding to admit ignorance, apologize, or commit to change longstanding habits.

Kempis’s observation serves as a quiet rebuke and a call toward humility. Instead of dwelling on the flaws of others, individuals are challenged to turn inward, using their energy for self-improvement. When a person addresses their shortcomings with sincerity, it not only benefits their own character but also becomes an authentic example, silently inspiring others. Such a practice nurtures empathy, patience, and genuine community, rooted not in perfectionism projected outward, but in the continual, humble work of amending oneself.