"I had a lot of time to think, and that is not good for your mind. And when it actually happened, it was not so much a celebration but the relief. It was an exorcism anxiety. After each race there is a procedure in which you get taken off to the podium and the TV interviews"

Long periods of isolation or rumination before an event can be mentally burdensome. When left alone with your thoughts, especially under pressure, the mind can become trapped in cycles of worry and imagination, often amplifying anxiety rather than providing clarity or comfort. This restless thinking drains the mind, constantly replaying what might go wrong, the expectations involved, and possible outcomes. The anticipation becomes heavier than the moment itself.

For Damon Hill, the event at the center of his thoughts, presumably a high-stakes race, transformed as a result. Rather than elation or triumph upon completion, there is only profound relief. The word “exorcism” vividly captures the sense of being plagued or tormented by inner fears and uncertainties: the act of finishing is not so much about victory, but about driving out that inner turmoil. All the anxiety bottled up during those days or hours of contemplation is finally expelled through the act itself. The anxiety departs, leaving not joy, but a clean slate, a quietness that comes with the relief of no longer having to wait, fear, or question.

Following the climax of the race, the routine resumes. The champion is led, not to a sanctuary for celebration, but into a series of mechanical, public duties: the podium, interviews, appearances. There’s an almost ironic juxtaposition here; the world sees the visage of victory and expects jubilation, but the victor himself may only feel emptied. The formality of post-race customs underlines how quickly the extraordinary is made ordinary. External rituals do little to acknowledge the silent, private battles fought in the mind, a wrestling match conducted in solitude before the real race ever began. The result is a bittersweet cycle: anticipation breeds anxiety, performance brings relief, and ceremony quickly follows, often at odds with the protagonist’s internal emotional state.