"I sit on a man's back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means - except by getting off his back"

Tolstoy’s imagery offers a powerful metaphor for the contradictions often present within systems of privilege, oppression, or exploitation. Here, the speaker acknowledges participating directly in the suffering of another person, not as an uninvolved bystander but as a beneficiary. The act of sitting on someone’s back, choking him, and forcing him to carry a burden, vividly illustrates the tangible harm inflicted, oppression that is both physical and symbolic. Despite this, the speaker maintains a sense of sympathy, claiming to feel sorry for the person harmed and professing a wish to relieve his suffering.

The contradiction emerges in the final, devastating clause: the wish to ease the man’s burden does not extend to the single, meaningful action that would actually alleviate his suffering, stepping off his back. This exposes a familiar mode of thinking among those who benefit from inequitable systems. There is an expression of empathy, sometimes even a sincere desire to improve conditions, but never at the cost of relinquishing one’s own privilege or comfort. It is easier to adjust, reform, or offer transient comforts than to confront and upend the foundation of inequality.

Tolstoy reveals the morality that allows this hypocrisy: people tell themselves and others that they care, soothing their conscience and presenting a compassionate image, all while perpetuating the status quo. Thus, intentions and self-perception do not correspond with the reality of their actions. The metaphor reaches beyond individual relationships, speaking to societal structures, such as poverty, class, or colonialism, in which those advantaged rationalize their continued dominance. True solidarity or compassion, Tolstoy suggests, requires the uncomfortable, often sacrificial step of relinquishing one’s undue advantage. Without this, concern for the suffering of others rings hollow, and genuine change remains impossible. The ultimate challenge is not to feel pity or utter apologies but to fundamentally alter one's position and participation in hierarchy.