"I spent a lot of time in churches. If you go to a synagogue, someone is always asking if you're alone, if you're married. In a church, in a hundred years no one would ask"

Peter Malkin reflects upon the contrasting atmospheres and cultures present in synagogues and churches, particularly in the subtle but significant ways they engage with individuals' personal lives. When he mentions spending a lot of time in churches, he implies a certain familiarity with the environment, enough to observe its nuances. His observation about synagogues highlights their strong sense of community and interpersonal engagement; someone is always attentive to the relational status of those present, frequently asking if one is alone or married. This behavior suggests an environment where relationships, family, and communal belonging are central concerns. The questions about one's marital status indicate not only curiosity but an underlying expectation or hope for individuals to be embedded within the communal fabric, often through family ties.

Contrastingly, Malkin notes that in a church, such personal questions are rarely, if ever, asked, even over the course of a century. This lack of inquiry can be interpreted as an emphasis on privacy, reserve, or perhaps a less interpersonally involved community structure. The implication is that churches might foster a space where the communal connection is less focused on the individual's private life, and more on shared worship or ritual, with personal circumstances left unspoken unless volunteered.

Malkin's comment may also allude to broader cultural differences between Jewish and Christian communities, where the Jewish tradition often emphasizes collective responsibility, active community involvement, and concern for fellow members. In contrast, certain streams of Christianity, particularly in the West, may champion individualism, autonomy, and a private relationship with faith. There is an undercurrent of both melancholy and appreciation for the synagogue's warmth and concern, paired with a subtle critique of the church's emotional distance. Malkin captures how the space of worship shapes not just spiritual experiences, but also the very contours of social interaction and belonging.