"In marriage do thou be wise: prefer the person before money, virtue before beauty, the mind before the body; then thou hast a wife, a friend, a companion, a second self"

William Penn’s words present a thoughtful hierarchy of values to consider in marriage. He opens by advising discernment, suggesting that the worth of a person far outweighs the allure of wealth. Wealth, being transient and external, cannot ensure happiness nor embody the enduring qualities necessary for a strong relationship. Preferring the person before money means seeing the individual for their character, their intrinsic worth, and their capacity for kindness and partnership, rather than their financial assets or social status.

Next, Penn elevates virtue above beauty. Physical appeal, while captivating, fades with time, but virtue, qualities such as kindness, honesty, patience, and integrity, form the foundation of trust and mutual respect. Virtue shapes the way partners treat each other and weather challenges together, fostering a relationship built on shared principles and emotional security rather than fleeting attraction. Prioritizing virtue ensures that the commitment is anchored in moral substance.

He goes further to recommend valuing the mind above the body. While physical attraction plays a role in most relationships, intellectual and emotional compatibility have greater staying power. A meeting of minds sparks stimulating conversations, shared dreams, and true companionship. Respecting intellectual qualities means cherishing someone’s thoughts, aspirations, and insights, allowing for growth as individuals and as a couple. This mental connection sustains the partnership even as outward appearances change.

By following these principles, Penn promises a deeper reward: not just a spouse, but a true companion, a friend in the fullest sense, and a “second self.” This partnership transcends superficial or material concerns. It suggests a union of equals, where each person sees their partner as an extension of themselves, sharing in joys and sorrows with an unparalleled closeness. The advice speaks to lasting partnership, rooted in enduring qualities that outlast the ephemeral, establishing the groundwork for profound love and lifelong friendship.