"It is something that most parents hope for in life: That their children will be moderately successful, polite, decent human beings. Anything on top of that is something you have no right to hope for, but we all do"
About this Quote
Jerry Kramer reduces the sprawling ambitions of parenthood to a humane baseline: may the kids make their way competently, treat others with courtesy, and grow into decent people. The bar sounds modest, almost unfashionable in a culture that worships exceptionality, but it is quietly radical. Moderate success signals stability and self-sufficiency rather than fame; politeness and decency mark the social glue that keeps communities livable. Measured against these aims, trophies and headlines are not the point, they are extras.
The line you have no right to hope for points to an ethic of humility. Parents can nurture, guide, and hope, but they are not owed brilliance, wealth, or acclaim from their children. Moving from hope to entitlement risks turning a child into a project, a performance, or a mirror for adult vanity. By naming the boundary, Kramer protects the child as a person rather than a vessel for inherited dreams.
And then the gentle confession: but we all do. The universality softens the admonition. Even the most grounded parent drifts into daydreams of extraordinary outcomes. This candor admits the tug between acceptance and aspiration. It does not condemn the dreaming; it puts it in its place, as a wish to be held lightly rather than a standard to be enforced.
Coming from a Hall of Fame lineman whose world revolved around teams and trenches, the emphasis on decency over distinction carries extra weight. Football taught him that glory is rare and collective, and that the unglamorous virtues of reliability, discipline, and respect carry a life further than any burst of fame.
The practical wisdom is clear. Center your parenting on character and sustainable competence. Treat every additional laurel as a windfall, not a debt to be collected. Doing so lowers the volume of anxiety, preserves the parent-child bond from corrosive pressure, and ironically creates more space for genuine excellence to emerge on its own terms.
The line you have no right to hope for points to an ethic of humility. Parents can nurture, guide, and hope, but they are not owed brilliance, wealth, or acclaim from their children. Moving from hope to entitlement risks turning a child into a project, a performance, or a mirror for adult vanity. By naming the boundary, Kramer protects the child as a person rather than a vessel for inherited dreams.
And then the gentle confession: but we all do. The universality softens the admonition. Even the most grounded parent drifts into daydreams of extraordinary outcomes. This candor admits the tug between acceptance and aspiration. It does not condemn the dreaming; it puts it in its place, as a wish to be held lightly rather than a standard to be enforced.
Coming from a Hall of Fame lineman whose world revolved around teams and trenches, the emphasis on decency over distinction carries extra weight. Football taught him that glory is rare and collective, and that the unglamorous virtues of reliability, discipline, and respect carry a life further than any burst of fame.
The practical wisdom is clear. Center your parenting on character and sustainable competence. Treat every additional laurel as a windfall, not a debt to be collected. Doing so lowers the volume of anxiety, preserves the parent-child bond from corrosive pressure, and ironically creates more space for genuine excellence to emerge on its own terms.
Quote Details
| Topic | Parenting |
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