"Its very great pity that they who are so apt to over-rate themselves in smaller matters, shou'd, where it most concerns them to know, and stand upon their Value, be so insensible of their own worth"

Mary Astell contrasts a noisy, performative self-importance in trivial arenas with a quiet blindness to genuine value where life’s most consequential choices are made. She points to a paradox: people, especially women in her time, were encouraged to seek validation in matters of fashion, flirtation, or social wit, yet discouraged from asserting their intellect, moral agency, and rights in education, marriage, property, and public life. The lament is not just moral but practical. When one does not “know, and stand upon” one’s worth, one cannot negotiate just terms, set wise boundaries, or resist exploitation. Flattery in small things replaces dignity in great ones.

Astell’s critique exposes how social structures channel ambition into safe, ornamental competitions while punishing confidence in serious domains. The result is a distorted self-assessment: overrating what wins applause, underrating what safeguards freedom. She distinguishes conceit from self-knowledge. Conceit chases appearances; self-knowledge measures capacity, duty, and intrinsic dignity. The remedy she implies is education and reflection, habits that discipline the mind to judge value rightly and to act on that judgment, even when it is inconvenient or unfashionable.

The emotional register matters too. She calls it a pity, not a crime, signaling compassion for those formed by a culture that rewards them for being small. Yet pity sharpens into exhortation: cultivate a grounded esteem that translates into action where it counts. Choose partners, vocations, and commitments from a position of clear self-respect. Refuse terms that require self-erasure.

The insight travels well to the present. It challenges the pursuit of metrics and micro-prestige while neglecting salaries, safety, autonomy, and moral purpose. Astell urges a reallocation of attention: let vanity shrink and principled self-regard expand. Learn your value, then calmly insist upon it in the arenas that shape your fate.