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Life & Wisdom Quote by Quentin Crisp

"Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it"

About this Quote

Domestic life, Quentin Crisp suggests, is less a sanctuary than a pressure cooker with no exit doors. The line works because it punctures the sentimental script of "home" with a chilly, comic precision: family isn’t where manners are born, it’s where they’re suspended. Crisp’s phrasing is almost mathematical - "strongest motives" plus "maximum opportunity" - as if rudeness is not a moral lapse but a predictable outcome of proximity, familiarity, and the exhaustion of keeping up appearances.

The intent is not just to sneer at family life; it’s to expose how intimacy can breed entitlement. With strangers, we barter politeness because we need social permission to exist. With relatives, we often assume we’ve already been granted tenure. The subtext is transactional: affection becomes a kind of credit line, and rudeness is what happens when people spend it carelessly. "En famille" adds a sly touch of sophistication, making the barb feel like an aphorism overheard at a dinner party - the kind where everyone is impeccably dressed and quietly miserable.

Context matters because Crisp built a career out of refusing polite society’s terms. As an openly gay English eccentric who understood how cruelty hides inside "normality", he’s aiming at the family as an institution that trains conformity and then punishes anyone who deviates. The joke lands because it’s recognizably true: the people closest to us know exactly where to press, and they have endless access to the buttons.

Quote Details

TopicFamily
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Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Crisp, Quentin. (2026, January 18). Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/living-en-famille-provides-the-strongest-motives-6456/

Chicago Style
Crisp, Quentin. "Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/living-en-famille-provides-the-strongest-motives-6456/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/living-en-famille-provides-the-strongest-motives-6456/. Accessed 6 Feb. 2026.

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Quentin Crisp on Family, Intimacy, and Rudeness
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About the Author

Quentin Crisp

Quentin Crisp (December 25, 1908 - November 21, 1999) was a Writer from England.

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