"Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little"

Life unfolds through uncertainty. Each day, each moment bears the risk and promise that comes with not knowing what comes next or precisely how to proceed. The sensation of living, of truly inhabiting one’s existence, is tightly interwoven with this ambiguity. It is the questions, the hesitation, and the willingness to proceed despite having incomplete information that generates vitality. Agnes de Mille draws attention to a paradox at the heart of experience: when life is approached with an expectation of certainty and a strict adherence to the known, something essential is diminished.

Knowing “how” can represent confidence and mastery, but it also threatens to anchor us to routines, reduce our curiosity, and shield us from the generative energy that arises from surprise and adaptation. As we settle into habits and familiar answers, the mysterious and invigorating aspects of life lose their intensity. There is a subtle kind of death embedded here, not a literal end, but a quieting of the senses, a loss of attention to the present, a cessation of discovery.

Allowing oneself to linger in states of not being sure, embracing ambiguity, fosters growth. It keeps us engaged, learning, and open to possibility. It prevents stagnation. The implicit lesson is to resist the comfort of always knowing what to do, to maintain the courage to continue even when the path is obscured. Creativity and meaning arise from uncertainty; risk wakens us.

De Mille’s insight suggests that living fully requires an acceptance, even an appreciation, of the unknown. Life’s richness is found within the spaces where answers do not come easily, where outcomes are uncertain. By being comfortable with not knowing, we preserve our capability to change, to feel wonder, and to remain truly alive.