"My mother told me two things constantly. One was to be a lady and the other was to be independent, and the law was something most unusual for those times because for most girls growing up in the '40s, the most important degree was not your B.A. but your M.R.S"
About this Quote
Ruth Bader Ginsburg packs a quiet rebellion into the language of etiquette. “Be a lady” arrives first, not because she endorses the cage, but because she understands how power often demands performance from women: be palatable, be polished, don’t give anyone an excuse to dismiss you. Then she pivots to “be independent,” and the tension between those two imperatives becomes the point. She’s naming the double bind mid-century women inherited: succeed, but don’t look like you’re trying; want more, but make it charming.
The line about law being “most unusual for those times” is doing more than scene-setting. It frames her career choice as deviant in the literal sense: outside the approved path. The cultural shorthand of the “M.R.S.” degree lands like a punchline with teeth. It’s witty, yes, but the humor is forensic. By reducing a woman’s “degree” to a spouse’s title, she exposes how institutions treated marriage not as one life option among many, but as the default job placement program for women.
The subtext is strategy. Ginsburg isn’t merely describing a past; she’s explaining the method that later defined her jurisprudence and persona: work within the language the culture recognizes (“lady”), then use that access to move the boundary (“independent”). It’s also a reminder that her era’s sexism wasn’t just personal prejudice; it was an entire credentialing system designed to funnel talent away from the public sphere.
The line about law being “most unusual for those times” is doing more than scene-setting. It frames her career choice as deviant in the literal sense: outside the approved path. The cultural shorthand of the “M.R.S.” degree lands like a punchline with teeth. It’s witty, yes, but the humor is forensic. By reducing a woman’s “degree” to a spouse’s title, she exposes how institutions treated marriage not as one life option among many, but as the default job placement program for women.
The subtext is strategy. Ginsburg isn’t merely describing a past; she’s explaining the method that later defined her jurisprudence and persona: work within the language the culture recognizes (“lady”), then use that access to move the boundary (“independent”). It’s also a reminder that her era’s sexism wasn’t just personal prejudice; it was an entire credentialing system designed to funnel talent away from the public sphere.
Quote Details
| Topic | Mother |
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