"One does not fall in love; one grows into love, and love grows in him"

Love is often portrayed as an involuntary plunge, a sudden event that overtakes the heart in a moment’s notice. However, Karl A. Menninger suggests a different understanding: love is not a pitfall that ensnares the hapless, but rather a gradual, organic development. Envisioning love as something one "grows into" implies that it is cultivated over time and requires conscious involvement. Each individual, through experiences and mutual understanding, moves slowly toward deep affection, rather than stumbling upon it unexpectedly. This journey into love involves choice, patience, and nurturing rather than the mere whim of circumstance.

Moreover, love "grows in him" communicates the idea that love is a transformative force working within the person. It is an evolving emotional state, maturing as the relationship unfolds. Such inward growth is a process; trust, empathy, and shared memories accumulate, fostering a deeper connection. The individual does not merely receive love passively but is changed by it, continually expanding one’s capacity for care and selflessness. This perspective shifts the focus from infatuation or fleeting passion to a more resilient, sustained affection.

Menninger’s viewpoint also highlights the importance of personal development in relationships. Love flourishes as individuals develop self-awareness, understanding, and acceptance, not just of each other, but of themselves. Rather than relying on serendipity, couples engage actively and intentionally in their emotional journey. Challenges and triumphs encountered along the way only serve to strengthen and mature the bond between them.

Through this lens, love is a living entity within the heart, requiring attention, effort, and time. Its passage is marked by softness and steady enrichment rather than abrupt upheaval. Realizing love as a process of growth offers the promise of enduring intimacy and the reward of a relationship that continually deepens and evolves.