"Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another"

Madonna Ciccone’s assertion draws attention to the deeper nature of personal autonomy and self-reliance in the pursuit of happiness. When pleasures hinge on the approval or consent of others, they become fundamentally unstable, subjected to the whims, judgments, or restrictions imposed by people outside oneself. This dynamic creates a dependence that strips an individual of power and agency over their emotional well-being. True satisfaction, Madonna suggests, arises from an internal compass, grounded in self-respect and self-sufficiency, rather than from external validation or authorization.

Such dependence can manifest in various spheres, emotional relationships, societal expectations, or institutional structures. For instance, a person who only feels joy when praised or validated by others becomes a captive of other people’s opinions and fluctuating moods. Their sense of worth becomes vulnerable, constantly at risk of being diminished should approval be withheld. In this way, their internal state, their pleasures and satisfactions, are not wholly their own, but are instead leased from those they hope to please.

Autonomy in finding joy carries with it a profound sense of freedom. Choosing pleasures that resonate with one’s own values and desires, independent of others’ permissions, not only strengthens self-worth but also nurtures resilience. It guards against the anxiety and insecurity that arises from reliance on external approval. The pursuit of permissionless pleasure does not endorse hedonism at others’ expense, but rather the cultivation of an inner life rich enough that it does not require continuous external endorsement.

Ultimately, the message is about ownership over one's life and emotional experiences. The “poor man” is impoverished not in material wealth, but in agency, continually seeking another’s nod to feel pleasure or contentment. True richness, by contrast, lies in the ability to find fulfillment from within, accepting the full responsibility and privilege of seeking joy on one’s own terms.