"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity"

Disraeli’s witticism is a brilliant example of dry political humor layered with complex undertones. At surface level, he’s making a distinction between “misfortune” and “calamity,” poking fun at the subtlety of language and sentiment. By using the hypothetical scenario involving Gladstone, a stalwart rival and political opponent, Disraeli demonstrates his competitor’s unpopularity in his own eyes and, by extension, in the eyes of his audience.

If Gladstone were to fall into the Thames, Disraeli frames it as a “misfortune,” which is typically something regrettable or unfortunate that befalls someone. Misfortune here is understated, even lackadaisical, suggesting no real personal distress at Gladstone’s potential accident. The implication isn’t one of true concern; rather, it’s almost celebratory in its nonchalance, betraying a quiet satisfaction at the possibility of Gladstone’s absence from the political stage.

The real punch comes in the next line: should someone rescue Gladstone, it transforms from misfortune into “calamity” in Disraeli’s view. Calamity denotes a disaster, an overwhelming and terrible event, far worse than simple misfortune. Thus, Disraeli inverts expected sympathies. He contends that Gladstone’s survival, rather than his loss, would be disastrous. It’s an elegant, cutting way to say the nation, or at least Disraeli himself, would suffer more by Gladstone’s continued involvement than by his absence.

Beneath the humor, the quote encapsulates the essence of political rivalry: personal animosities, the hope for a competitor’s failure, and the sharpened wit often used to disguise deeper hostilities. Disraeli, famed for his literary flair, uses this anecdote to highlight the intensity of his rivalry with Gladstone while also demonstrating that the greatest disasters, at least from a partisan perspective, are the triumphs of one’s political enemies.