"The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy: neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water"

John W. Gardner draws a parallel between two seemingly unrelated domains, plumbing, a practical and technical trade, and philosophy, an intellectual and esteemed discipline, to make a powerful statement about societal values. He highlights a tendency to assign more significance to certain professions because they are considered intellectually prestigious, while undervaluing or disrespecting jobs deemed less glamorous or practical. Gardner suggests that this value system is not only unjust but also detrimental to the overall well-being and progress of society.

When excellence in practical trades like plumbing is dismissed as simply "humble activity", society risks encouraging mediocrity in essential services. Undermining the importance of these roles means that the critical standards required to maintain basic functions, such as clean water, effective sanitation, and infrastructure, will deteriorate. The consequences of poor plumbing are immediate and tangible: health hazards, discomfort, and disruption of daily life.

On the other hand, treating philosophy and similar intellectual pursuits as inherently valuable, regardless of quality, leads to the toleration of "shoddiness", that is, accepting poorly reasoned, superficial, or irrelevant ideas because these fields are thought to be elevated or superior. The end result is that the intellectual foundations of society become weak, making it difficult to confront complex moral, social, or existential questions with clarity and depth.

By stating that "neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water", Gardner employs a clever metaphor that unites both worlds, pragmatic and theoretical. Leaky pipes and unsound theories produce similar effects: chaos, inefficiency, and eventually, breakdown. A society must uphold rigorous standards, integrity, and respect for excellence across all pursuits, practical or theoretical. Only by valuing good work wherever it occurs can a community ensure both functional systems and robust ideas. Every role contributes to the fabric of civilization, and the scorn or misplaced reverence of any part undermines the strength of the whole.