"The test of good manners is to be patient with the bad ones"

Solomon Ibn Gabriol’s observation suggests that true courtesy isn’t measured by how we behave around those who are polite, agreeable, or easygoing, but rather by how we handle rudeness, impatience, or the lack of proper decorum in others. Patience with people whose manners may fall short challenges our own discipline, empathy, and humility. It can be tempting to react to impoliteness with irritation, judgment, or retaliation, yet genuine good manners call for composure and forbearance even in uncomfortable social situations.

Politeness that falters at the first encounter with rudeness is superficial; it implies that our civility is insincere or contingent upon the comfort of our interactions. To have patience with those lacking good manners is to understand that everyone experiences bad days or has different standards, backgrounds, or cultural frameworks for behavior. Unkindness could stem from stress, ignorance, or lack of proper upbringing, and meeting it with patience is a sign of maturity and strength. It keeps the situation from escalating and offers the other person an implicit chance to rejoin in a more positive manner.

Being patient with bad manners also serves as a silent teaching moment, offering a nonjudgmental model of how civil discourse should be conducted. It shows that respect does not have to be earned, but rather is bestowed as a matter of course, reinforcing the value of kindness even when it is not reciprocated.

Ultimately, the capacity to endure discourtesy without responding in kind is a testament to one’s integrity and emotional intelligence. It reveals the true depth of our manners and reminds us that being well-mannered is not about perfection but about the steadfastness of our respect and patience towards all, regardless of how we are treated.