"To expect too much is to have a sentimental view of life and this is a softness that ends in bitterness"

Expecting too much from life, people, or circumstances suggests holding on to an idealistic, perhaps naive, perception of the world. Flannery O'Connor’s observation challenges the tendency to overlay reality with unattainable ideals or sentimental hopes. Sentimentality, in her view, is the act of clinging to those softened, romanticized perspectives. It is a form of emotional indulgence, where one’s outlook becomes colored by wishful thinking or unrealistic standards rather than a clear-eyed acceptance of the world’s complexities and disappointments.

Such an outlook, though comforting in the moment, sets a person up for disappointment. When confronted with inevitable imperfections, failures in love, friendship, work, or any facet of life, the gap between expectations and reality reveals itself. The supposed softness or warmth provided by sentimentality serves only as a temporary cushion; repeatedly unmet expectations do not foster resilience but instead nurture resentment, hurt, and, ultimately, bitterness. The cycle can be self-perpetuating: the more one expects, the more one is let down, leading to emotional hardening rather than the hoped-for fulfillment.

O’Connor’s perspective reflects a broader existential insight: that suffering and imperfection are intrinsic to the human experience. Attempting to evade or deny this truth by expecting constant happiness or unwavering goodness from life is itself an error of judgment. Genuine maturity often demands accepting limitations, both one’s own and others’, and seeking meaning not through perfection, but through grappling honestly with the flawed nature of existence.

Rather than hardening the heart through bitterness, one might embrace a kind of pragmatic hope, grounded in reality. This approach avoids the traps of cynicism and disillusionment by accepting life as it is, full of both beauty and sorrow, without letting expectations sour into disappointment. Through such clear acceptance, one attains depth, resilience, and perhaps even a truer kindness.