"What is the most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine"

Susan Sontag’s observation about beauty in men and women touches on the complexity and fluidity of gender and aesthetic ideals. Rather than viewing beauty as a fixed set of masculine or feminine qualities, Sontag suggests that allure often emerges from a subtle blending or interplay of attributes culturally ascribed to both genders. For virile men, whose beauty might traditionally be defined by strength, assertiveness, or ruggedness, Sontag finds the allure heightened by the presence of something gentle, vulnerable, or graceful, qualities stereotypically labeled feminine. Likewise, for women whose femininity is prized, their beauty attains a fuller, more intriguing dimension when it is fringed by traits associated with masculinity, such as strength, confidence, or a kind of quiet power.

This interplay challenges simplistic definitions of beauty and identity. Sontag’s assertion points to an ideal that transcends rigid binaries, emphasizing instead a more nuanced humanity. It recognizes an aesthetic and emotional appeal found in ambiguity, in the unexpected presences within the self, in the way beauty can ripple across a spectrum rather than occupy only one end. The presence of the “other” within oneself, the feminine in the masculine, the masculine in the feminine, signals a kind of internal completeness, a harmony of different forces that make individuals more compelling, attractive, and empathetic.

Beyond personal appearance, Sontag’s insight can be read as an invitation to appreciate the richness that comes when people defy one-dimensional roles or presentations. True beauty, she hints, stems not from absolutism or pure archetype, but from psychological complexity, balance, and the capacity to contain contradictions. Such an approach not only humanizes ideals of beauty but also destabilizes rigid cultural expectations, inviting a broader acceptance of diversity in both gender expression and attraction.