Facts about Bill Maher

Occup.Comedian
FromUSA
BornJanuary 20, 1956
Age68 years

Summary

Bill Maher is a famous Comedian from USA, she is 68 years old and still alive, born January 20, 1956.

Zodiac:
She is born under the zodiac aquarius, who is known for Knowledge, Humanitarian, Serious, Insightful, Duplicitous. Our collection contains 33 quotes who is written / told by Bill, under the main topics: Death - Women - Religion.

Related authors: P. J. O'Rourke (Journalist), Jamie Kennedy (Actor)

33 Famous quotes by Bill Maher

Small: We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities
"We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities"
Small: I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again
"I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again"
Small: Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them
"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them"
Small: Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, Please, I used to pul
"Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'"
Small: If you think you have it tough, read history books
"If you think you have it tough, read history books"
Small: I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological
"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder"
Small: We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops pe
"We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies"
Small: Things arent right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, res
"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"
Small: Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or more people in a w
"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed"
Small: The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is bla
"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it"
Small: The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one
"The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap"
Small: The country has become much more conservative, partly because its been taken over by the religious righ
"The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right"
Small: The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefing
"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
Small: The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs
"The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs"
Small: Suicide is mans way of telling God, You cant fire me - I quit.
"Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit.""
Small: Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I dont need
"Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need"
Small: President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite libe
"President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all"
Small: I never thought Id say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush
"I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush"
Small: I dont want my president to be a TV star. You dont have to be on television every minute of every day -
"I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed"
Small: I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better b
"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"
Small: Hi, Im Bill. Im a birth survivor
"Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor"
Small: Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kidd
"Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool"
Small: Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease
"Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease"
Small: Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is
"Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is"
Small: Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show
"Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show"
Small: A lot of good has come from drugs. I think Penny Lane is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is w
"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out"
Small: Men are only as loyal as their options
"Men are only as loyal as their options"
Small: Maybe every other American movie shouldnt be based on a comic book. Other countries will think American
"Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence"
Small: Lets make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to se
"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids"
Small: Lets face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
"Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?"
Small: Kids. Theyre not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex
"Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex"
Small: Jim Bakker spells his name with two ks because three would be too obvious
"Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious"
Small: Its all been satirized for your protection
"It's all been satirized for your protection"