Inspiring Quotes by Mark Twain - Page 2

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"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything"

"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream"

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times"

"The lack of money is the root of all evil"

"To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence"

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest"

"Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven"

"Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities"

"Work is a necessary evil to be avoided"

"A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation"

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect"

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't"

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see"

"No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon"

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug"

"The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane"

"The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this"

"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat"

"There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded"

"The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice"

"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar"

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been"

"Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself"

"Familiarity breeds contempt - and children"

"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing"

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter"

"It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it"

"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat"

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not"

"Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish"

"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare"

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know"

"I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way"

"It is easier to stay out than get out"

"To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble"

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself"

"Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest"

"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear"

"The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it"

"The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little"

"Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat"

"Golf is a good walk spoiled"

"There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice"

"When in doubt tell the truth"

"What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin"

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society"

"Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand"

"All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure"

"Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul"

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