"Before the child ever gets to school it will have received crucial, almost irrevocable sex education and this will have been taught by the parents, who are not aware of what they are doing"
About this Quote
Mary Calderone, a physician and pioneer of modern sex education, points to a plain fact: long before any classroom lesson, children absorb their earliest and most powerful lessons about sex and relationships at home. The curriculum is implicit. It is carried in a parents tone of voice when naming body parts, the rules about privacy and nudity, the way affection is shown or withheld, the jokes tolerated at the dinner table, the reactions to curiosity, and the gender scripts modeled in everyday life. Even silence teaches; if certain topics are never discussed, children learn that sex is unspeakable, shameful, or dangerous.
Her phrase "almost irrevocable" names how sticky these early lessons can be. Developmental research and common sense converge on the idea that first impressions around the body, boundaries, and intimacy form deep templates. A calm answer to a preschoolers question about where babies come from, or a respectful response to a childs wish for privacy, can seed comfort and trust. A slap on the hand for touching, ridicule for curiosity, or panic over a naming of anatomy can seed secrecy, shame, and fear. Children learn who has authority over their bodies, what consent looks like, and whether desire and tenderness are safe to feel.
Calderone spoke within a mid-20th-century American culture that often wrapped sexuality in taboo. As medical director at Planned Parenthood and cofounder of SIECUS, she argued that sex education is not just plumbing and prevention but a lifelong education in values, communication, and respect. The line is not a condemnation of parents so much as a call to awareness. Parents teach even when they think they are not, so schools cannot be the sole remedy or guide. Effective public education must enlist families, and families can become more intentional: use accurate words without fear, answer small questions simply, model consent and affection, apologize and repair when missteps happen. Change begins not in a textbook but in the texture of ordinary daily life.
Her phrase "almost irrevocable" names how sticky these early lessons can be. Developmental research and common sense converge on the idea that first impressions around the body, boundaries, and intimacy form deep templates. A calm answer to a preschoolers question about where babies come from, or a respectful response to a childs wish for privacy, can seed comfort and trust. A slap on the hand for touching, ridicule for curiosity, or panic over a naming of anatomy can seed secrecy, shame, and fear. Children learn who has authority over their bodies, what consent looks like, and whether desire and tenderness are safe to feel.
Calderone spoke within a mid-20th-century American culture that often wrapped sexuality in taboo. As medical director at Planned Parenthood and cofounder of SIECUS, she argued that sex education is not just plumbing and prevention but a lifelong education in values, communication, and respect. The line is not a condemnation of parents so much as a call to awareness. Parents teach even when they think they are not, so schools cannot be the sole remedy or guide. Effective public education must enlist families, and families can become more intentional: use accurate words without fear, answer small questions simply, model consent and affection, apologize and repair when missteps happen. Change begins not in a textbook but in the texture of ordinary daily life.
Quote Details
| Topic | Parenting |
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