"Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody"
About this Quote
Abe Lemons delivers a jab that doubles as a curtain call. The barked opening, "Damn referees", signals the familiar soundtrack of sideline life: exasperation, theater, and the ritual search for someone to blame when a whistle goes the wrong way. Then the punchline flips the sentiment into wry self-awareness: "I’ll miss them less than anybody". The line is equal parts complaint and farewell, a coach acknowledging that when he leaves the grind, the officials he sparred with will not be among the things he longs for.
Lemons built a reputation as a college basketball coach with a comedian’s timing, turning press conferences into stand-up sets at Oklahoma City, Pan American, and Texas. His one-liners softened hard truths about the game’s power dynamics. Coaches live with the consequences of split-second judgments they do not control; referees personify that loss of control. Grumbling at them becomes a coping mechanism, a way to advocate for players and to protect a team’s psyche by externalizing frustration. Yet the humor keeps the barb from turning bitter. Even as he gripes, he admits the dance is part of the show.
The line also pokes at the culture of scapegoating in sports. Everyone claims to hate whistles until chaos erupts without them. Lemons understood that officials are necessary antagonists, foils that help define the drama. To say he will miss them least is to admit he will miss everything else more: practices, players, the shot of adrenaline in a tight game, the problem-solving puzzles that coaches live for. The joke works because it acknowledges love by negation.
Spoken by a master of sideline sarcasm, the remark captures the alley where competitiveness meets showmanship. It is a goodbye wrapped in a grumble, the seasoned coach tipping his cap to the game while reserving one last playful scowl for the people with the whistles.
Lemons built a reputation as a college basketball coach with a comedian’s timing, turning press conferences into stand-up sets at Oklahoma City, Pan American, and Texas. His one-liners softened hard truths about the game’s power dynamics. Coaches live with the consequences of split-second judgments they do not control; referees personify that loss of control. Grumbling at them becomes a coping mechanism, a way to advocate for players and to protect a team’s psyche by externalizing frustration. Yet the humor keeps the barb from turning bitter. Even as he gripes, he admits the dance is part of the show.
The line also pokes at the culture of scapegoating in sports. Everyone claims to hate whistles until chaos erupts without them. Lemons understood that officials are necessary antagonists, foils that help define the drama. To say he will miss them least is to admit he will miss everything else more: practices, players, the shot of adrenaline in a tight game, the problem-solving puzzles that coaches live for. The joke works because it acknowledges love by negation.
Spoken by a master of sideline sarcasm, the remark captures the alley where competitiveness meets showmanship. It is a goodbye wrapped in a grumble, the seasoned coach tipping his cap to the game while reserving one last playful scowl for the people with the whistles.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|
More Quotes by Abe
Add to List


